Sunday, November 1, 2015

Gaining Independence!!

I always do my best to be honest when I write about my experiences when it comes to raising Kendall.  That can include all sorts of emotions from very low lows, sadness and frustration to happiness, joy and being in complete awe of her and her accomplishments.  I try to keep it real in hopes that all can feel what it's like to raise a child with special needs through my writing.  It's been quite the ride if you've known Kendall since she was born or even if you've followed some of the things I've written here about her.  She turned 12 on September 22 and is now in 7th grade.  Sometimes I look at her and think why does it feel like it takes so long for her to really understand things and other times, like this past week, I look at her and see just how much she's grown and how much independence she has gained.  I mean my biggest goal for her in life is to become as independent, happy and confident as possible.  It's going to look different than that of a typical kid but I don't care how it looks or how she gets there, I just want to see it happen and I know it will take longer.  I'm ok with that.  And from the start, I've always said the best part about Kendall is her heart and how caring and loving she is.  That's her best quality in my opinion.

Here are a few recent highlights/brags because she deserves recognition just like the rest of us do.  Earlier this week we got a letter from her middle school saying she had been selected for an award by her teacher for modeling her schools "Bronco" attitude, specifically modeling "Good judgement".  "Students with good judgement show concern for fairness and the welfare involved, make careful decisions, possess freedom from preconceptions and biases".  If you ask me, that's pretty cool, especially that last part.  Those things are not easy to teach to a typical 7th grader, specifically one with special needs, yet here she is getting this award this week.  It's a moment worth celebrating for sure!  

As Halloween approached earlier this week she was quite excited.  She was a princess pirate and LOVES to get dressed up.



This year we went trick or treating with a big pack of boys from the neighborhood and a couple of Brady's friends.  She use to tire quickly walking around and we use to have to walk with her to each door encouraging her to say or even sign trick or treat and use her thank you's.  This year she didn't wear out, she kept up with the boys and confidently went to each door as we stood back, really far back actually.  She said Trick or Treat clearly and confidently and used her thank you's every time.   As I stood back from afar all I could think of was the first probably 5+ years of life when all I could do was wonder when/if/what she would accomplish in life and I remember so clearly how stressful that was.  And here she was now not missing a beat, doing this all on her own with a little help from her amazing brothers and their friends.  I know she's teaching her brothers a lot about life, including empathy and compassion and I sure hope their friends are learning from her as well.  I think they are because I witnessed it last night and it warms my heart.  It may not sound like much to people with typical 12 year old kids but last night was a big step for her and her independence....huge actually.  Amazing and I was so proud of her. 



Finally tonight as Dan was cooking dinner, I look over and she's setting the table.  I'm not sure if he asked her to or not but she's happily doing it and doing it correctly.  Placemats were set, then forks with napkins, she asked me if we needed spoons(we didn't), she put cups out and filled them with water without spilling.  Then laid the plates out(don't judge our paper plates ;).  And again, I sat there and thought about all the things people said she may never do.  Here she is proving them wrong.  Being independent and happily helping us out.  Of course I had to take pics and document it:






Finally, and I wish I had pics of this or video of it but she has some pretty active brothers in all kinds of sports throughout the year.  She loves watching them play and this season in soccer when Chase scored one of his goals she jumped up and ran to me yelling Go "BOO BOO BEAR"(his nickname) she was so excited for him and immediately asked me if she could go hug him.  When Chase tested for his purple belt and 3.5 hours later passed she went up to him and gave him the biggest hug and kiss on the cheek that I've ever seen, it was completely spontaneous and so very sweet.  She cheers for Brady in soccer when he's playing goalie or on the field just as much.  She's not perfect, no one is, but this is one strong, amazing and loving girl!  I'm so proud and lucky to be her mama.  I'm thankful for her and I'm loving watching her grow into a more independent young woman, even if day to day it can feel like such baby steps until weeks like this one where it all starts to come together.  Amazing, just completely amazing.  I can't wait to watch her continue to grow and amaze everyone out there as much as she amazes me.  Parenting a child with special needs is not for the faint of heart but as I've said time after time, she's teaching me more in life than anyone else ever has and for that I'm very grateful!  She's my hero in so many ways, so much stronger than I'll ever be.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEPB76o2KXw

We could hide away in daylight
We go undercover, wait out the sun
Got a secret side in plain sight
Where the streets are empty, that's where we run
Everyday people do everyday things but I
Can't be one of them
I know you hear me now, we are a different kind
We can do anything
We could be heroes
We could be heroes, me and you
We could be heroes
We could be heroes, me and you
We could be
Anybody's got the power
They don't see it cause they don't understand
Spin around and round for hours
You and me, we got the world in our hands
Everyday people do everyday things but I
Can't be one of them
I know you hear me now, we are a different kind
We can do anything
We could be heroes
We could be heroes, me and you
We could be heroes
We could be heroes, me and you
We could be
We could be heroes
We could be heroes
Me and you
We could be
All we're looking for is love and a little light
Love and a little light
(We could be)
All we're looking for is love and a little light
Love and a little light
We could be heroes
We could be heroes
Me and you
We could be



     


About Me

My photo
Married mom of 3 not so little ones anymore but they still keep me grinning and giggling(most of the time). Kendall, age 12, Brady age 8 almost 9 and "baby" Chase who is 7. I have been married for 14.5 years to Dan Graff, who I think is the best dad ever to our kids. He certainly makes me grin and giggle to this very day. I have spent my non mom career working in recruiting on and off over the years recruiting Software Engineers. Other than my kids my most favorite thing to do in the entire word is ride horses followed by Kung Fu, where I earned my purple belt last year. I have been riding since I was 8 years old, with some time off here and there but I always go back to it. As Winston Churchill said, "There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man"(or woman in this case)!

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